(Cue the theme music: du, du, duh!)
What kind of crazy, out of their minds people get into a boat when they know a storm is on the horizon? And not only get into it, but actually set sail and intentionally set course for the middle of the storm?
Well, me and John, actually.
So here it comes. The moment we have been praying about and I've been writing about, trying to encourage my readers to join me in the pure desire to see Baby F and E restored as a family the way God intended. I don't know the exact time, but it looks like she'll go home this week.
And even though I am so, so excited that a mommy will get to know her baby, will get to kiss the ever-pudging cheeks that get cuter every minute, will get to soothe her cries and learn her favorite cuddling positions, my heart is also breaking.
I am so blessed that my relationship with E gets better every time we talk. Tonight she called to tell me about a movie she saw this weekend (the same one John and I went on a date to see, coincidentally?), to ask about Baby F's feeding/sleeping schedule and to ask if she can come to church with us (!!!). She offered her compassion to me, expressing how hard she knew it would be for us to say goodbye to Baby F and to reassure me that we could see her whenever we wanted to. I mean, who gets a birth mom like her?
God's hand has been with us through every step of this process. I know He will be with me this week. On that day when I send this baby home where she belongs, and come back to a house smelling of formula and baby wipes, with mounds of pink clothes and burp cloths to pack up, He will be there. On those nights when I wake up every 3 hours listening for a cry that's probably going to be coming from me, He will be there.
I am NOT looking forward to this storm. But if I've learned anything from the Gospels' stories of storms and Jesus, it's this:
He's in the boat with me.
He's in control. Of everything.
He hears my cries.
He'll save me from my fear and doubt.
And people will be amazed watching Him work this situation out for His glory.
If you feel you're in the boat with us, or in a boat of your own, let's hold on tight. We'll make it through this together.
(PS- thanks in advance for your prayers this week, I need every one of them!)