Weaned!

Hmm... a blog about weaning. Exciting reading for a Friday night.

My goal was to nurse Ayla for a year and wean her around her first birthday. I'm so grateful to say that we made it! I know that breastfeeding isn't easy or possible for all moms, and even though it clicked right away for us, I never took for granted that we were able to do it for as long as we did.

In deciding to wean at a year, here are some of the things I was worried about or concerned with:

1) I didn't start her on dairy until her first birthday. I know a lot of people start their kids on yogurt and cheese earlier, and I probably should've, I just waited until one for a lot of things. So, I was concerned with how I was going to keep her hydrated during the transition from breast milk to cow's or another type of milk. Then, when I did give her cow's milk (fresh, raw, organic, delicious stuff!), she would have nothing to do with it.

2) She stopped drinking from a bottle at some point around 8 months. She never had confusion with a  pacifier or bottle early on, but by that point she hadn't had a bottle in so long, and had already discovered the fun of straws, that she just wouldn't take a bottle. However, she didn't drink much of anything (pumped breast milk, diluted juice or water) from anything else. I tried several different sippy cups, and she would just drink one or two sips.

3) I'd read about different ways to wean, and had decided to save the bedtime feeding for last. The problem I anticipated was transitioning away from that when I didn't have her dad here to introduce her to a new routine at night that didn't involve nursing. The last several weeks, when we were down to just that once, she was clearly and quite frantically requesting it, which she had never done before.

4) One thing I loved about nursing was the confidence I had in knowing my baby was getting exactly what she needed from me, especially when she was sick or teething or just being picky and not eating much else. I wasn't as confident in anything else being able to supply that for her after we were done.

Compounding all these concerns was learning that she only gained three ounces from her 9-month-checkup to her one-year, which isn't unusual as babies get more active. It's just not something a mother likes to hear. When we went back to the doctor for a follow-up visit a month later, Ayla had lost weight! Really not what I was expecting! The doctor suggested I stop giving her water, which was all she would drink at that point, and give her something like formula, with more calories. Several of my friends suggested using coconut milk, and after a few days, she chugged the stuff down!

I was also experiencing the emotional toll of the hormone shift from the decrease in nursing, was feeling very mushy about her turning one, wondering if her increased fussiness was due to the weaning process or separation anxiety or teething or something else, and didn't want to lose any of the intimate bonding we had built up. As sure as I was about wanting to wean at a year, I was unsure about how it was going to work.

(Are you completely bored yet? Sorry. 

I don't know why I'm writing about this. Maybe because it seems like a big milestone?)

I planned to use John's visit home in February to eliminate the bedtime feeding, by pumping and having him put her to bed, and slowly transition from breast milk to coconut milk. However, she didn't acclimate to being alone with him for the first few days, then we went on a trip, then we had people over every night, then we went on another trip, so I just kept nursing her.

At some point shortly before he came home, that nursing session had become pretty unpleasant, though. She would fall asleep, which would've been great except she would wake up screaming and frantic when I pulled her off to switch sides. She'd never done that before. Also, she usually played with my ears or nose while nursing, but she began to really yank and scratch and be quite violent for a one-year-old, then lose it when I'd put her down. It was very frustrating for both of us, so I knew it was time to be done.

(Don't worry, I'm almost done with this post, too!)

It ended up happening almost accidentally. The day after we got home from Costa Rica we got a babysitter so we could go on a date. (Didn't I mention we went on vacation to Costa Rica? Oops, more on that to come, then!) I figured we'd be back early enough that if Ayla hadn't gone to sleep yet, I could still nurse her. But she had gone down just fine. The next night when I put her down without nursing, she didn't even mention it. And that was that.

That was almost two weeks ago. Since then, my big, happy girl also started drinking (fresh, raw, organic, delicious) cow's milk, mostly because I ran out of coconut milk and she didn't even notice the switch.

I'm also thankful that I didn't have any engorgement issues when we stopped. It even makes me wonder if she was getting so frustrated towards the end because she wasn't getting much, if anything.

I really should take a lesson from myself here. So far, every thing I've been worried about in parenting hasn't been that bad when I actually get to it. I certainly learned some things I will do different next time, if given the opportunity, such as:
1) Not worry so much about it. If I'd have known how easy it was going to be, I'd have done it sooner!
2) Schedule in a regular bottle feeding so the baby stays acclimated, then transition to cup at appropriate age.
3) Start the baby on higher-(good)fat foods earlier to make up for the drop in calories from weaning.
4) Not worry so much about it.

Now, if I could only figure out how to get her to start walking.

(I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I'm not rushing her on that!)

I almost forgot to add a picture of the source of all this absolutely-worth-it fuss!

See, happy as can be!

A Poster post

Dreams come. True.

Sometimes I read about dreams:
 following your dreams
  dreaming big
   daring to dream

and I wonder 

Whatever happened to my dreams?

Have I completely forgotten about them?

Am I waiting for something to change or just happen 

for them to come to pass?

Am I using my gifts and talents,

or are they getting moldy

underneath piles of burpcloths

or lost in the kitchen sink

with the soggy remains

of a baby's "dinner?"

http://www.ginnyfiler.com/ayla

And then I hear myself

 in the middle of singing 

   the twentieth song 

    I've made up that day

     for my baby daughter

      

and I realize

(rock star. mom.)

My Parenting Philosoph-ease

When Ayla was two months old, I told John I was going to blog about what I was doing as a mother to get such an awesome baby. I had many friends expecting their first babies as well, and I thought I would do them a service by offering my wisdom gained from my vast parenting experience.

He suggested I maybe wait until she was six months old, just to make sure she was still an awesome baby (and still alive) and then it would probably be okay to offer my wisdom.

(Yeah, so he's really the wise one in this parenting partnership, but this is my blog, so there!)

Henceforth, she is six months old and still alive and still an awesome baby, thusly shall I share my wisdom.  Do you have a pen and paper to take copious notes?

But for real, I am so glad I didn't try to write about this back then because almost everything I would've said then wouldn't be what I would say now. So, I'm not really going to try to offer advice, but I think it's safe to share some of my philosophies because those haven't changed so much.

(I don't know if I even need this disclaimer, but just in case: I don't think this is the best or only "correct" way to think about these things, they are just the way I think about them, so take them for whatever that is worth to you! Thanks!)

Two questions or scenarios I try to think about when researching, then choosing a method for anything baby-related are:
1) What do mothers or families in other parts of the world do about ____, especially those without the same access to the resources and information I have?
2) What have mothers or families in generations past done about _____, ditto?

(And really, I think about these two aspects of just about everything in life, not just when it comes to parenting.)

I have found these questions help to broaden my perspective from what this or that blog or website or currently much recommended or much loathed book says to do or not to do. I don't get so wrapped around a certain method or style, because in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "There are about a billion people in India and I doubt many of them have read or heard this _____, so it must not be as complicated or absolute as this _______ is making it seem."

Now, of course, I am SO grateful for the knowledge of those gone before and that of my peers, the access to the amazing resources I am blessed to be able to use and so on. And obviously, we (our society/generation) are doing a better job in general at keeping our babies alive, so I'm not kicking it all to the curb. It's just that the American Medical Association recommends different things than the Australian or British version of the same. So, since they/we didn't invent childbirth or child-rearing, and mothers and families have been doing it pretty successfully for as many centuries as you believe this earth is old, I just keep those two "filters" on and go from there.

That wasn't too bad, now, was it? I have a few other thoughts I'll pepper in amongst the Ayla pictures and single-ish-mom stories, too, and I hope to have you along for the ride.

What are your thoughts on these or other philosophies? Are they even really philosophies? Is there a better word for them? Were you hoping I'd put at least one Ayla picture in this blog?

Ok, here.

:-)