Twenty-five months

My dear Ayla,

You are two now. Two and a month, technically.

Two (and too) is your favorite word. You worked so hard to learn how to show two with your fingers, and though you can say your whole name, when someone asks what your name is, you proudly say, “TWO!” I gotta admit, even with all the new challenges this age brings, it’s my favorite one so far, too.

Speaking of, you’re really into the word and concept of “too.” “Mocha go nigh-night too!” “Daddy eat too!” “Mommy go pee pee too!” (We’ll get to the potty training fun we’ve been having later.) You’re good at doing things by yourself, but if you can get someone (or someanimal as it often is the case) else to do it “too,” you’re thrilled.

When people were asking me what you were into for birthday present choosing, it was hard to answer. What aren’t you into? You love everything outdoors and moving, just like your parents. You love building towers with your blocks or tea set, throwing balls around and asking “where are you?” as you chase them, and jumping on mommy and daddy’s bed. You love to color, though coloring for you is mostly handing me the crayon and telling me what to draw. I don’t mind. I like to draw for you. I’m getting pretty good at the kitties and doggies you always “request.” You love animals, your toys and real ones.

You love singing and anything having to do with music. We get a kick out of you singing along at bedtime now and the repertoire of songs you know is growing daily. Now that Daddy has his keyboard set up, you constantly try to play the “pinano” with him (or by yourself).

You love to read. I am amazed at how fast you learn your books and it’s been fun to have you participate in the reading. We’ve consented to letting you have a book in bed with you when you go to sleep, and it’s the book that usually wins over the animals for cuddling when you finally conk out.

You’re a bit of an adrenaline junky. You build obstacles for yourself and your toys to climb over, and you’ve discovered about 15 different ways to get down your slide.

 Almost every day, you successfully convince your daddy to give you plenty of “weeee,” which can mean anything from spinning you around in a laundry basket, to throwing you up high in the air, to helping you do somersaults. We’re both cherishing these days before you get too big for this.

Oh, but you are a big girl now. We still have you rear-facing in the car, since you’re only 25 pounds, and you still sleep in your crib (though you are getting close to climbing out). But we’ve said goodbye to diapers (except for sleeping) and you always remind me, “no pee pee in panties!” when you’re getting dressed.  I am SO proud of you for learning how to use the big potty and for telling us when you need to go. I figured if you could learn to play games on my iPhone in less than 30 seconds, you could be potty trained, and I was right!

Right now you’re learning what “my” and “mine” mean and what they don’t mean. Play dates can get a little tense when you insist that your friends’ toys are yours, or when you’re not ready to share toys that actually are yours. Wise friends have reminded me that we all went through this phase, and some grownups are still in it, so I have hope you’ll learn that sharing and giving is more fun than keeping something to yourself. I can’t say that I mind too much, though, when you refer to us as “MY mommy” and “MY daddy!”

I don’t know if there’s a technical term for being mentally organized, but I think you might be that. You process information very well in lists. I often hear you reciting lists, such as the activities available at the playground, the friends you played with in various settings, the elements of a good birthday party, or the rules about spitting. This translates to physical organization too, as you are my big helper with putting toys away in the correct box. You keep this up and I’m going to put you in charge of my closet!

I can’t capture everything about you in words, and even if I could I probably wouldn’t want to take the time away from being with you to record it all. Realistically, I probably won’t be blogging about you for the rest of your childhood. You’ll have to share some of the spotlight with future brothers and sisters and maybe someday you’ll even have a blog of your own.

For now, though, I still find myself watching you in awe and gratitude. You are mine. Don’t you ever doubt or forget that!

Ayla's First Birthday Party

My goal was to get these pictures posted before Ayla's birthday balloon was out of helium and wouldn't you know, today it is about an inch off the floor, so I totally still have time!

As her birthday approached, I wasn't sure what to do to celebrate. You know I have issues with my own birthday, the short of it is that you should celebrate what my mom did on that day, not me, as I pretty much didn't do anything except show up.

However, I love celebrating other people's birthday however they like to, so my own daughter's day presented a bit of a dilemma. I don't want to pass my issues on to her. I don't want to deprive her of special moments or others of celebrating her life. Of course, she's too young to tell me how she feels about it (in a language I understand, anyway). She's also too young to remember it, though pictures will tell her the story. I didn't want to do anything too extravagant and couldn't host a "small party" of my own because as I've said, we have too many friends (a good problem, I know), and we wouldn't be near our also not-small family.

Sometimes the answer to life's questions can be found by looking right in front of you. For me, I realized we had a built-in "small" circle with the mom's group we attend every other week, which was also a pre-established time and place. We also could share the celebration with another mom, whose son, Micah, is four days older than Ayla. So, that's what we did.

I made cupcakes and frosting. That's about as fancy as I get!

Somehow, I glanced away from the table after setting the cupcakes with burning candles down, and managed to introduce my daughter to fire. (There was only 4 seconds between these pictures!)

I don't mean to brag, but Ayla clearly won the unannounced mess-making contest.

To honor Micah's Korean heritage, we played the Toljabee. We set out a number of symbolic items for the babies to crawl to, and tradition says that what they choose first says something about who they become or what they do when they grow up. Micah's dad had added a computer mouse to the other options of rice (riches or plenty), a book (scholar), money (riches), a pen (writer), or string (long life).

Ayla went straight for the mouse! Her second choice was rice, so we're set. I'm sure she'll be running an internet company by the time she's in pre-school. I'll let you know when it goes public.

Nothing like I'd planned

I had planned to do a whole week of Ayla's-turning-one related posts leading up to a big reveal of her 365 Every Day pictures and a snazzy video and fireworks and pizza for everyone. Ok, maybe not the fireworks.

(Coincidentally (?) my post from this date last year was also about "plans" and our intentions for letting people know about when the baby "Blueberry" (awww... remember Blueberry?) came.)

Point being, her birthday is actually the day after tomorrow and this is it.

Tomorrow is the last day of her first year.

And since it's 11:33 (awww... the exact time she was born), that's in less than 30 minutes.

So, here's a little teaser photo from the birthday celebration we had for her today at the moms' group we are blessed to be a part of. My friend's son, Micah, turned 1 on Sunday, so we brought snacks and balloons and let the kiddos go at it.

Ok, just one more...

I have a feeling this is the start of a long
and beautiful relationship with chocolate!

Birthday Love

Last year on this day, I told you about how I tried to stop celebrating my birthday several years ago. It was an unsuccessful attempt, because apparently birthdays are an unstoppable force that only Jehovah's Witnesses can escape (but I'm not willing to go quite that far!).

I don't have anything against birthdays in general, I just didn't want mine to be a big deal anymore. Facebook telling everyone that it's my birthday doesn't really help with that, but I've come to accept it.

This is my 33rd birthday, which means I'm starting my 34th year. That seems like a lot, between a half to a third of my life already, depending on how the journey goes. Of course I still feel like I have so much to learn and grow in, but there are some things I have come to appreciate about aging.

1) Credibility. I think, as a general rule, people take you more seriously when you're in your 30s than when you're in your 20s.

2) Comfort. I'm far more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been in my life. That is, with the exception of the discomfort of a stretching mid-section, but I'll take the cause for that (right now) any day! Sure, I still fight off insecurities, but I know more about what is important in life - what actually lasts - to worry about trying to be someone I'm not.

3) Compassion. For some people this is a gift that comes naturally. For me, it's something that I've grown more in as I've seen and experienced more of the world. I think it comes hand in hand with what I said above; as we grow more secure in our place in life, we can allow ourselves to think more about others.

I can think of many more things that start with C and other letters, too, but the main one on my mind is Cake, as in the one my amazing, wonderful husband baked for me (first time ever for him!) and is waiting upstairs.

What do you think are some gifts that come along with aging?

Three birthday wishes

I'll be honest (aren't I always?), birthdays are not my love language.

A few years ago I tried to stop celebrating my birthday. It did not go over well. I ended up offending more people than I thought possible. My desire to ignore my birthday didn't stem from not wanting to age. That's inevitable and -for me- very desirable as I seek the wisdom associated with age. I just didn't think that I did anything the day I was born to warrant a celebration. My mom did all the work.

My loved ones protested saying my birthday was a chance to celebrate me and all the great things I mean to this world. My argument was, if my birthday is about me, why can't we honor me by not celebrating it? I've done things worth celebrating other days, like graduating from college or joining the military. I don't mind a cake and cards to congratulate me on the anniversaries of those events. Sigh. Like I said, this was an ineffective pursuit and I gave up.

Anyway, now I have an idea to harness birthday-loving-people-everywhere's desire to celebrate and my desire to do something worth celebrating.

I give you three great causes to send some money to. This way, you and I both make a difference!

1) Solomon Jordan Siegel - He's my nephew and turns 2 on Sunday (now there's something to celebrate!). He was born with Down Syndrome, and has been through a lot in his life. He is amazing. This year, he's attending a special school called The Little Light House. The school will invest $26,000 into his education this year and not charge his parents a dime. They can do this only through fundraising ferociously and partnering with people and organizations who care. You can find out more about him and donate as much as you want on his page here.

2) Philippines trip/Camp Sonshine - I'm going to the Philippines with my church from Oct 25-Nov 7. We're going to be working with the Anascos (ORU grads) and the camp for street kids they run called Camp Sonshine (yes, related to the one in Maryland). My team of 12 (plus a baby) needs to raise $27,600 total by Oct 1. This amount goes towards our plane tickets and expenses, then the rest goes to putting on the camp for 150 to 200 kids. If you want to 'go' with us, you can contribute here and choose any of our names to put in the 'For' line.

3) charity:water - a simply amazing community of people who want to provide clean drinking water to everyone on the planet. I started a campaign to help and the webpage is http://mycharitywater.org/annasbirthday. You'd be amazed how much a little can do.

Celebrating a Princess

Avrah Grace is the only female child born to my immediate family line so far. My brother has 3 boys. My sister, Avrah's mom, has 4 boys. My sister-in-law also has a boy. Avrah is our princess.

It's her 3rd birthday today. I'll tell you later why you should care.

She was born while I was deployed to Kyrgyzstan. She wasn't the first offspring-of-siblings (there really should be a gender neutral word that encompasses both nephews and nieces) whose birth I missed, but it was especially hard to be so far away that year. My family was going through a very hard time, I was missing my first anniversary and that baby was a bright ray of sunshine on all of us.

The first time I met her was pretty amazing. My mom and husband had conspired to surprise me when I returned from my deployment. My mom brought my brother, my sister and 2-month-old Avrah out to DC and, with the help of some very good friends, they were sitting at a table in the food court at the mall where John and I were shopping. I am not a good surprise person, by the way, so don't try it if you want one of those really good faces/reactions. I usually just stare blankly until I can figure out how I was duped. Anyway, here I am falling in love with her.

It used to be that having a baby girl was not looked on with joy and celebration. I know it's still like that in many parts of the world. This is in no way a feminist manifesto, but I'm still amazed (in the not-good way) that someone could look at a little baby girl and not realize what a wonder she is. If not as a baby, then as a cute toddler or precocious pre-schooler.

Here is the gender God gave His life-bearing power to, a precious vessel to be cherished and protected. Here humans depart from the animal kingdom (where males are typically the more beautiful) with a dominant feminine beauty. And here is a mystery and allure that nations have gone to war over and new religions were formed around.

I'm grateful to be a girl in America today. I'm grateful my niece can grow up to be anything she wants to be. And I'm extra grateful God saw fit to bless our family with her sweet face.

Happy Birthday Avrah!