Absorb mode

As some of you might remember from my last blog, which was oh so many days ago, I am currently serving at Andrews Air Force Base as the chief of public affairs there. I am a reservist and have a special job of augmenting that position when the active duty person who would normally be there can't be.

In this case, he is deploying to Afghanistan, and even though I had the opportunity to go in his place, I declined and am instead filling his seat at the home office. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to go to Afghanistan. I've actually been trying to go since 9/11. I almost deployed there in 2006, but got diverted to Kyrgyzstan instead. That turned out to be a great deal! But, right now is just not a good time for me to go.

Working at Andrews, however, is a super deal. It's only about a 20-minute commute from my house, I worked there for a few months last year so I'm familiar with the drill and, of course, I get to put on my uniform and serve my country.

Coming in to lead a very busy office that is just about to go through some major transitions has been very interesting. We have DoD's largest air show coming up this weekend. We will get a new commander a few weeks after that. We have some folks who have been in the office the longest leaving for retirement and new jobs (and of course, nobody new coming in to replace them). And then there's me. A completely different leadership style than my troops are used to and a different hairstyle, too. I mean, I even change my hairstyle from day to day: straight, curly, up, down. It can be very confusing.

So I've been in absorb mode for the past week. I'm just taking everything in and getting a feel for the pace and nature of things. I've never been one to just go into an office and start changing things immediately. I've got to talk to the people who know things. Observe relationships. Find out what the most important issues are. Learn the best ways of communicating with all the important parties. Figure out whose refrigerator I can put my lunch in without danger of it being thrown away (that one's for you, SMSgt Land).

But this mode will only last for a few more days, then it's go time. We've got so much to do, problems to solve, worlds to save, you know!

So I hope it's ok if my blogs seem more work related than the baby ones you might have come here for. Oh! Speaking of the baby-- Baby Z is still with a respite home, but now it looks like he will be going home to his grandma next week, so he probably won't come back to us. I'm sad our time was so short, but am glad they were able to work it out for him to go home to his family. For whatever reason, we didn't get to develop any kind of relationship with his family, so it's highly unlikely we'll get to see him again after he goes home. I am going to try to sneak down to his respite home and give him a few goodbye kisses.

That's how it is with most people, though, right? We're never promised tomorrow with anyone, so we have to pour out all the love we have for them today.

What about you? What's your leadership style when it comes to change? Why don't people ever answer the questions I ask here at the end of my blogs?

10-sentence Tuesday

1) I owe you an update on the past few interactions with Baby Z's parents.

2) Friday went much better with brief, but mostly positive, interaction.

3) Sunday and Monday they had appointments to see him but were no-shows. :-(

4) This made me so sad because he is too precious to be stood up.

5) It was hard to drop him off at his new respite-mom's house on Monday night, but I know I will get him back in two weeks.

6) Today I put on my uniform and started my tour in the Air Force Reserves at Andrews Air Force Base.

7) For the next two weeks, I'll be working on the Joint Service Open House, otherwise known as the Andrews Airshow, which is May 15&16.

8) If you're in the DC area (or can come here), you should come because it's free and so much fun!!

9) Questions count as sentences.

10) What have you been up to?

My mission today

This is a first, y'all. I'm blogging before I'm usually awake. This must be special!

 I'm only gonna take a minute here, so please forgive the hurried nature.

Today, I'm meeting with Baby Z's parents again. After our last meeting, my social worker said she almost cried at the way I was treated. I've been praying for them all week and I'm determined that even if it goes poorly again, I will respond in love.

This is my mission today. To be poured out and broken for this family. To show them God's love like they've never seen.  I believe God placed this baby with us so we could be a part of restoring this family to Him.

I've been in some pretty heated "discussions" with people I'm blood-related to, and I still love them and would do anything for them. So that's how I'm going to treat this young mom and dad. (Not get in an argument with them, of course, but show them the "in-spite-of" love.)

I know I'm writing this like it's going to be easy, but I'm writing it precisely because it's not going to be easy. This is the type of situation that would normally make me want to retreat behind a shield and try to get my heart as far away from as possible. But I believe that God made my heart so sensitive because there's something special He wants to do with it.

So I have to believe that as I surrender my heart to Him, He will protect me. I pray that this family sees the goodness of God and is willing to let Him take their hurt and pride in exchange for His peace and love. Will you pray that with me, too?

This is my mission today. What's yours?

10-Sentence Tuesday

Blogging is becoming like scrapbooking to me. Well, I don't actually scrapbook, but I have always meant to. So I keep all these scraps of memorabilia to put in a scrapbook someday, but I have so much to catch up on, I just keep putting it off and keep collecting things.

I feel like these past few days I've just been collecting scraps of things I need to blog about but I haven't had made the time, so I'm gonna experiment with something I'll call 10-Sentence Tuesday.

In no particular order:

1) Baby Z is doing well, although he has some thrush in his mouth and a fungal infection around his "diaper area."

2) This, and other factors made yesterday (Monday) a rough go with his birth parents during both a "Bridging the Gap" meeting and a doctor's appointment.

3) We were able to find some common ground with our tattoos and Native-American backgrounds, but they are still very defensive, confused and broken people.

4) I didn't get into the PhD program I applied for at the University of Maryland, and since I'm not that surprised, I'm still processing why God had me go through the process.

5) With the PhD door closed (for now), I am praying about what my next steps should be for both the immediate and long-term future.

6) It looks like I will spend most of the next 4 months working in a Reserve capacity in the local area.

7) I will be doing two weeks starting next Tuesday at Andrews AFB to help with the annual Joint Service Open House.

8) Baby Z will go into respite for those two weeks, then probably come back to us; if I continue working, he will go into daycare.

9) It also looks like I will take cooking classes at L’Academie de Cuisine in nearby Gaithersburg, MD.

10) John and I are trying to figure out what to do for our 5th anniversary (in August), so suggestions are appreciated.

Well, there you have it. What's going on in your world?

Some movement at last

On Baby Z's first full day with us, he didn't go, um, number two at all. I was a little worried, though I knew some babies don't go all the time, Baby F did every diaper, so that's all I had to go on.

So, I turned to my child-raising village and posted this on Facebook:
Looking for suggestions for non-pooping formula-fed baby. He's always hungry and not acting uncomfortable.

And boy did I get suggestions! Friends said: change the formula, add dark karo syrup to the formula, give him water, give him prune juice, massage his feet with olive oil, stick a thermometer with Vaseline up his you-know-what, don't add dark karo syrup to the formula, put a latex glove filled with warm water on his belly, and don't worry, my baby only poops once a week.

I think somehow this boy knows about my Facebook page, because just when I was about to try some of these methods, he went. And kept going. Now, he's very, very regular, thank you very much. And very gassy. The stink to amount of poop ratio is unreal. Ok, enough poop talk.

I did change his formula yesterday from Simulac to Good Start and he seems to really like it (thanks for the tip, Mombrose!). I also bought some Dr. Brown bottles and a Tommee Tippee bottle, which are high-end brands designed to reduce colic, but I can't tell a huge difference when he drinks from those. He's quite a gulper and the brand that slows him down the best is the Breastflow. I'm learning every day the best techniques for burping and giving him time to digest. And seeing as how he changes from day to day, I have alot to learn! 

After five days, just as I was ready to surrender my schedule for him (3 hours: wake, feed, play, sleep), which worked beautifully with F, and be more sensitive to his natural rhythm, he complied. Just when I was about to go buy him a swing because the vibrating bouncy chair that worked wonders with F wasn't cutting it, he cozied to it. Keeping me on my toes, this one.

In other news, I finally heard from his social worker today and have a slightly clearer picture on his story and immediate future. I have to be really sensitive to what I say here, because this case is going to be very different from our first one. With Baby F, we met her mom, E, right away and started building that relationship. E was also very cooperative and willing to do everything the county asked her. I'm so happy with our friendship. She called me today just to see how Z was doing and we swapped formula/poop/sleep stories. She's doing really well, so keep up your prayers!

One of the only commonalities is that both moms have the same name, so Z's mom will be called E2 here. She is still a teenager and her first baby is a year old. That baby is in her grandma's custody and I was told that's where they are looking to place Z, too. Z's social worker also worked with his half-sister, so she is very familiar with this family. She told me a little of what is going on, but we are meeting in the morning to go over the rest.

When a child is placed in state custody here, they have what is called a 5-day hearing. (Social workers reading this, please correct me if I get this wrong) At that hearing, the child has a lawyer called a guardian ad litem (GAL), and the family has a lawyer. Along with the social workers and CPS workers, they meet with a judge to decide if the child will stay in state custody or return to the family. If they stay, they are officially entered in foster care. 

Z's GAL came on Tuesday to meet him. If he were an older child, the lawyer would interview him, but with Z, he just asked me some questions about his sleeping and eating habits. He was also on Z's older sister's case, and though he didn't say it directly, I gathered this was going to be very "interesting."

Z's 5-day was yesterday, but apparently something was amiss with the family's lawyer, so they are extending the hearing to 30 days. Which means he'll be with us at least that long. Which also means he will probably go into respite for the two weeks I'm doing my Reserve tour. Since we don't know what the outcome of that hearing will be, we don't know how long he'll be with us after that. So, lots of unknowns, but a few more knowns with more to come.

Even with all the drama brewing, the little man and I are having a great time. He is so intense, which translates to louder, more urgent "communication" when he needs something, but also many glorious smiles and his strong little hands always seeking to grab mine. We're soaking up every bit of it!

(Speaking of soaking up, I switched his diaper brand, too. I had been using Pampers, but now they have this new Dry Max, which was causing little bumps and redness on his skin. I read online that this was happening alot, so I knew it wasn't just us. I'm trying Target brand right now, but am open to suggestions.)

Finally, here's the little cutie wearing a little Earth Day green.

Ain't he worth saving the earth for?

Bundle of Blue

With Plumb's "Blink" playing softly in the background and my husband, my dog and the new addition napping on this chilly afternoon, I have a few minutes to write about said new addition.

Two-week old Baby Z came on Friday to stay for a while. I don't know much of his story. The social workers who dropped him off didn't know either, since his actual social worker was in court with a different case and couldn't make it. I'm hoping to find out more from her on Monday. Part of the "fun" of foster care is the ever-unpeeling onion of information about the cases. I'm cautious to even share what I know because it's so spotty and pieced together from different sources, so I don't know what's accurate. Here is what I think is ok to tell you.

He is in foster care, as opposed to the non-custodial respite status of Baby F. That means he is in state custody and is covered by Medicare (or Medicaid, I can't remember which) and we can apply for WIC to buy his formula.

We don't know how long we'll have him, but if he's still with us May 4, he will go into respite with another family since I have to go do two weeks of Reserve time. Remember, babies under six weeks have to stay at home. After that two weeks, if he's still not home with his family, he'll come back to us.

Though I don't know much about his first two weeks of life, here's what I know about him. He is FEISTY! It'll be interesting to see if he's this way naturally or as a survival mechanism, and if he changes the more stable he becomes. He's little; I don't know his birth stats, but they said he was early. He's a busy little guy. Even when he's sleeping, he's twitching and squeaking. He has the best little pouty lip that usually comes out right after a gassy smile. He's scrawny, but strong and very alert to what's going on.

And he's stinking adorable!

Since he's a little darker than we are, I think we'll get a different response in public than we did with Baby F. I've already seen questions in people's eyes, but so far everyone just says he's really cute. I  can only say "Thank you," though I'm thinking, "but I obviously had nothing to do with that!"

I've been experiencing a mix of confidence in my baby skills, thanks to Baby F, 9 nie-neps and years of babysitting, and some minor almost freak-outs, thanks to him being different from all those babies. I have a great community- a village, if you will- of advice-givers to keep me from fully freaking out, so I'm thankful for them. It's fun to post a question on Facebook and see all the various responses I get. It  shows me that there's no one perfect way and no major way I'm gonna mess him up.

In Baby F news, I watched her for the last half of the week as her mom was in a class. It was fun having her here. She's smiling alot and sleeping so much better, a real joy that little one. She had just gone down for a nap when Z came, but her mom came to get her early so we took a picture of them together. She's happy she isn't the smallest one around anymore!

So, what have you been up to this weekend?