Monday, August 2, 2010

An (un)invited heartache

Today was a little hard. It was hard for Boy D and it was hard for his parents. It was hard for me, too, but I'm not the point.

Taking care of this little guy has been a whole different set of joys and heartaches. For the past week, the hardest part of the day is bedtime. That's when he starts crying and asking for his mommy and daddy. A few nights ago, I thought it might help him to talk to them at bedtime, but the one night we tried it, it was even worse.

It's hard to hear him cry over a circumstance we can't do anything to make better. It's hard to hear his parents cry over a circumstance they can make better, but not on their own. So, we went back to talking to them after dinner when he's happy.

I took him for the first family visit today, where we met with his mom and dad at the county center. Although they seemed hesitant to talk to me at first, at the end of the visit, it seemed they opened up more. It's hard because they seem so ashamed, and I'm not exactly sure how to help them with that. So, I just kept things positive and raved about their son. We had made them cookies that he decorated and a card with some pictures in it from his week so far. He was very excited to give them these gifts, and they brought some of his clothes and toys and movies from home, so that was all good.

But this good thing came to an end, and they walked him out to my car. When he realized he was going with me and not them (even though we all tried to prepare him for it), he lost it. He was also confused about why they were taking the card and the cookies. For the rest of the day, not 20 minutes went by without him saying he wanted to go home and see his mommy and daddy. It was rough.

As for his future, he has an aunt in a neighboring state who has spent alot of time with him and is ready for him to come stay there. His CPS social worker has inferred that his parents, specifically his mom, have deeper issues than the one he was removed for. So, the plan is for him to go to his aunt as soon as the interstate approval process is done. That could be by the end of this week or next. And for his sake, I hope it's just as soon as possible. He needs to be with his family. We can do alot for him, but we can't replace them.

I promise I'll post a cheerier blog tomorrow with pictures from our weekend. I just felt like sharing this piece of the process, because it's much harder than with either of the babies. They warned us about this in our training, so at least we know what to expect. But nobody trains the kids or the parents for this. It just sucks.

Thanks for listening.


  1. I'm so sorry. I don't know his story or why he was removed but I know that whatever it is, I'm sure he doesn't understand. I'll be praying his aunt's place is a haven for him and he gets moved soon. In the meantime, God give you patience and the right words and techniques to soothe him.

  2. I'm so happy you guys are there to love D while he's going through this process. I'll be praying for y'all.

  3. Thanks for sharing. Y'all are doing a great job. Look forward to seeing you tomorrow night.

  4. That is truly heartbreaking. Saying special prayers for you both.


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